For when harboring such feelings we shut ourselves off from the sunlight of the Spirit. Perhaps your husband will make a fair start on the new basis, but just as things are going beautifully he dismays you by coming home drunk. Better men than we are using it constantly. Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex; who bewail the institution of marriage; who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes. With a shiver, he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why, in the face of expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body. We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality. And with us, to drink is to die. A word about sex relations. Understanding our work, he can do this with an eye to selecting those who are willing and able to recover on a spiritual basis. If you have already made a decision, and an inventory of your grosser handicaps, you have made a good beginning. Nearly always, these antics indicate nothing more than temporary conditions. Their defects may be glaring, but the chances are that our own actions are partly responsible. Perhaps you both like parties which would be dull without liquor. Normal drinkers are not so affected, nor can they understand the aberrations of the alcoholic. Jerry needed to know so he started upon a project to identify the changes that were made to various printings and editions of the Big Book. Our activities in behalf of women who drink are on the increase. Nothing would please us so much as to write a book which would contain no basis for contention or argument. The man should be sure of his recovery. Whenever you want to, you control your drinking. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance. But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self- knowledge. We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. Resentment is the number one offender. They should wait for the end of his next drinking bout. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. Your man should be on his mettle to make good. Jundia, Amparo, Atibaia, Thus was I convinced that God is concerned with us humans when we want Him enough. On our grudge list we set opposite each name our injuries. You say, Yes, Im willing. If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people! We got this all down on paper and looked at it. Perhaps you will want to take the man into your home for a few days. His roots grasped a new soil. Afterward, we found ourselves accepting many things which then seemed entirely out of reach. This couple has since become so fascinated that they have dedicated their home to the work. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight. We hope the doctor will tell the patient the truth about his condition, whatever that happens to be. The 12 traditions are as follows: 3 Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon A.A. unity. Down the lobby a door opened into an attractive bar. Try to have him bring up the subject himself. That company may harbor many actual or potential alcoholics. In the early days of our drinking we occasionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers again later. In many homes this is a difficult thing to do, but it must be done if any results are to be expected. Sponsorship Pamphlet. To us it is not far- fetched, for this kind of thinking has been characteristic of every single one of us. We agnostically inclined would not feel satisfied with a proposal which does not lend itself to reasonable approach and interpretation. When he angers you, remember that he is very ill. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. Yet we had been seeing another kind of flight, a spiritual liberation from this world, people who rose above their problems. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. He is going to be more interested in a demonstration of good will than in our talk of spiritual discoveries. Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him. We, who have collectively seen a great deal of business life, at least from the alcoholic angle, had to smile at this gentlemans sincere opinion. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of His Spirit into us. Because this book has become the basic text for our Society 5-b. Far from it. God comes to most men gradually, but His impact on me was sudden and profound. The word God, or a variant of Him, appears 281 times in the first 164 pages of the Big Book. Then came the night when the physical and mental torture was so hellish I feared I would burst through my window, sash and all. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals-usually brief-were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. How could he possibly make a public statement exonerating his rival? It is the purpose of this book to answer such questions specifically. We wouldnt treat sick people that way. Keep it always in sight that we are dealing with that most terrible human emotion-jealousy. This we did because we honestly wanted to, and were willing to make the effort. Thus you may succeed in interesting him in alcoholism. Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. I love the book! We have sometimes reflected more than Jim did upon the consequences. Our liquor was but a symptom. 12-a. WITH FEW EXCEPTIONS, our book thus far has spoken of men. Sometimes this was a tedious process; we hope no one else will be prejudiced for as long as some of us were. Alcoholics Anonymous, also known as the "Big Book," presents the A.A. program for recovery from alcoholism. Business failure, insanity, fatal illness, suicide these calamities in his immediate family embittered and depressed him. There is an important exception to the foregoing. These were revolutionary and drastic proposals, but the moment I fully accepted them, the effect was electric. There is doubt about that. Do not ask that he do it for you or anyone else. But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours. Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. But the head of the house has spent years in pulling down the structures of business, romance, friendship, health-these things are now ruined or damaged. Phil Smith says: November 13, 2019 at 3:54 pm. He wants to make good. He had commenced our way of life, had secured a position, and was getting his head above water. Though he is now a most effective member of Alcoholics Anonymous, he still smokes and drinks coffee, but neither his wife nor anyone else stands in judgment. We think of their needs and work for them. Includes pages 1-164 and: - The original Foreword - The Doctor's Opinion - Dr. Bob's Story - If you can't find the passages cited in your Big Book, try the provided chapter/story name as an aid. With it you can avert death and misery for them. This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements. These 164 pages are in the Public Domain Alcoholics Anonymous Screen 6 of 703 Whats in the AA Big Book? Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. It's more than a book. The more you type, the more precise the results. We thought, on the whole, we were pretty good women, capable of being nicer if our husbands stopped drinking. Clear away the wreckage of your past. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. The doctor said: You have the mind of a chronic alcoholic. His wife is one of those persons who really feels there is something rather sinful about these commodities, so she nagged, and her intolerance finally threw him into a fit of anger. It may seem incredible that these men are to become happy, respected, and useful once more. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. With ministers, and the worlds religions, I parted right there. But it isnt so difficult. e-mail: Jundia, Amparo, Atibaia, If he is enthusiastic your cooperation will mean a great deal. Try not to condemn your alcoholic husband no matter what he says or does. The First 164 pages of The Big Book with lined pages opposite text for note taking. I felt lifted up, as though the great clean wind of a mountain top blew through and through. The driver escorted me about for several days. He might be shocked if he knew how much alcoholism is costing his organization a year. He does not need a bodyguard nor is he confined. To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got. Perhaps you are not acquainted with any drinkers who want to recover. Usually, however, other people are involved. If what we have learned and felt and seen means anything at all, it means that all of us, whatever our race, creed, or color are the children of a living Creator with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try. Had we fully understood the nature of the alcoholic illness, we might have behaved differently. 38 On the second page of A Vision For You, p. 52, what is mentioned is as a sufficient substitute for liquor? There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. In this way he was slyly carrying tales. Lets talk about it later. If your husband is trying to live on a spiritual basis, he will also be doing everything in his power to avoid disagreement or contention. If he feels free to discuss his problems with you, if he knows you under-stand and will not be upset by anything he wishes to say, he will probably be off to a fast start. We have tried these methods. It was so with us. Father may have laid aside for years all normal activities- clubs, civic duties, sports. And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Were our contentions true, it would follow that life originated out of nothing, means nothing, and proceeds nowhere. But somehow, we couldnt quite step ashore. They will be only too glad to assist you. He is just another very sick, unreasonable person. Couples are occasionally dismayed to find that when drinking is stopped the man tends to be impotent. You can select the following fonts: Arial, Calibri, Comic sans MS, Courier New, Times New Roman and Verdana. AA program from the first 164 page of the Big Book. The First 164 pages of The Big Book with lined pages opposite text for note taking. Let us tell you the rest of the conversation our friend had with his doctor. I had commenced to drink as carelessly as though the cocktails were ginger ale. I, who had thought so well of myself and my abilities, of my capacity to surmount obstacles, was cornered at last. But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. His friends feel closer over a highball. Be determined that your husbands drinking is not going to spoil your relations with your children or your friends. The distinguished American psychologist, William James, in his book Varieties of Religious Experience, indicates a multitude of ways in which men have discovered God. Had he been successful in his enterprise, he would have been set on his feet financially which, at the time, seemed vitally important. Near the end of that bleak November, I sat drinking in my kitchen. He attended church for the first time in many years. When you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him. Our struggles with them are variously strenuous, comic, and tragic. That didnt seem to bother me so I tried another.. My brother-in-law is a physician, and through his kindness and that of my mother I was placed in a nationally-known hospital for the mental and physical rehabilitation of alcoholics. This had to be stopped. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. If he shows interest, lend him your copy of this book. His friends have slipped away, his home is a near-wreck and he cannot hold a position. When we saw others solve their problems by a simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we had to stop doubting the power of God. You can secure their confidence when others fail. If you ask him why he started on that last bender, the chances are he will offer you any one of a hundred alibis. Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body. But those of us who have tried to shoulder the entire burden and trouble of others find we are soon overcome by them. We have learned that whatever the human frailties of various faiths may be, those faiths have given purpose and direction to millions. These men later be-came co-founders of A.A. Bills story opens the text of this book; Dr. Bobs heads the Story Section. Yet its elements are simple. The first 164 pages of the Big Book is the outline for recovery, which constitute the "program" of recovery. In competent hands, this seldom takes long nor is it very expensive. Having been neglected and misused in the past, they think father owes them more than they are getting. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God. Inerrant means without error, and it is a concept religious scholars have tried to apply to the Christian bible, without success. This requires action on our part, which, when completed, will mean that we have admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our defects. God save me from being angry. His income is good, he has a fine home, is happily married and the father of promising children of college age. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. One day they called up the head nurse of a local hospital. While grateful that he drinks no more, they may not like the idea that God has accomplished the miracle where they failed. We did exactly the same thing with our lives. All members of the family should meet upon the common ground of tolerance, understanding and love. We are aware that these matters are, from their very nature, controversial. You can easily find some by asking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals. Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol. But this description should identify him roughly. We suggest you do this as we have done it in the chapter on alcoholism. If such women adopt a spiritual way of life their road will be smoother. This may lead to lonely evenings for you. Cessation of drinking is but the first step away from a highly strained, abnormal condition. It was his first experience of this kind, and he was much ashamed of it. When this sort of thinking is fully established in an individual with alcoholic tendencies, he has probably placed himself beyond human aid, and unless locked up, may die or go permanently insane. I love the ease of use of the Kindle version on my smart phone for use in meetings when you or someone else is trying to remember the page number of a specific passage, or how many times a specific word is mentioned (for instance, RECOVERED- 34 times in the first 164!!!) How could men who loved their wives and children be so unthinking, so callous, so cruel? For a while they would be their old sweet selves, only to dash the new structure of affection to pieces once more. Some of us had already walked far over the Bridge of Reason toward the desired shore of faith. We stick to our own. I was finished and so were many friends. I began to be jittery in the morning. Alcohol is so sexually stimulating to some men that they have over-indulged. The following is a list of the 40 Musts from the Big Book. Afterward, his revulsion will be terrible. Get an idea of his behavior, his problems, his background, the seriousness of his condition, and his religious leanings. Book Description Known as the Big Book the basic text of Alcoholics Anonymous has helped millions of people worldwide get and stay sober since the first edition appeared in 1939. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. Let us be reassured. Henry Ford once made a wise remark to the effect that experience is the thing of supreme value in life. We families of Alcoholics Anonymous keep few skeletons in the closet. Here is the fellow who has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control. ,Sitemap,Sitemap, Sindicato dos Trabalhadores da Indstria Grfica, Comunicao Every few days this doctor suggests our approach to one of his patients. When he sees you know all about the drinking game, commence to describe yourself as an alcoholic. Since I added various properties to the text in order to create the derivative ebook, I have an (unregistered) copyright to it --that is, to the PDF file. We find the more one member of the family demands that the others concede to him, the more resentful they become. My friend promised when these things were done I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems. The most incompatible people discover they have a basis upon which they can meet. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. He was as much a fact as we were. Some, but not all of us, think it has its advantages when reasonably used. Home Read the Big Book and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Alcoholics Anonymous A Vision For You - (pp. Here and there, once in a while, alcoholics have had what are called vital spiritual experiences. We feel that each family, in the light of their own circumstances, ought to decide for themselves. The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Let him decide for himself. In desperation, we have even got tight ourselves-the drunk to end all drunks. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We asked him to tell us exactly how it happened. Select the book genre. There was always one more attempt-and one more failure. The BB uses words like "ABANDON, CONCEDE & CAPITULATE" is a stronger word than "surrender". To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. If his mood is light, tell him humorous stories of your escapades. He inherited a lucrative automobile agency. Sometimes it is wise to wait till he goes on a binge. He will feel he can deal with you without being nagged by his family. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the nonalcoholic. In addition to these casual get-togethers, it became customary to set apart one night a week for a meeting to be attended by anyone or everyone interested in a spiritual way of life. I have seen men come out of asylums and resume a vital place in the lives of their families and communities. The alcoholic may find it hard to re-establish friendly relations with his children. But that would be in great measure. This work is necessary to maintain his sobriety. Tell him you once felt as he does, but you doubt whether you would have made much progress had you not taken action. Now, the domestic problem: There may be divorce, separation, or just strained relations. Besides, my gin would last longer than his preaching. Most of us have done that sort of thing. If possible express a lack of hard feeling toward him. I woke up. We have found nothing incompatible between a powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy usefulness. This means a new attitude and spirit all around. His physical and mental condition were unusually good. Ask him if he thinks he has the answer. When I returned to the hotel it struck me a highball would be fine before going to bed, so I stepped into the bar and had one. In spite of your new-found happiness, there will be ups and downs. Dont start out as an evangelist or reformer. He had a commendable World War record. It was a devastating blow to my pride. I had eaten there many times during the months I was sober. If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. We'll be down.". It was eight oclock-five hours after the market closed. 1. For three for four months the goose hung high. Being a large place, we think that some day its Fellowship will number many hundreds. Sometimes a new man is anxious to proceed at once. Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism. He had plenty of money left and thought I had better go to Canada. But they often suspect they are down for the count. Sorting and rendering passages in the proprietary format of the 164 and More concordance does not in any way imply affiliation with or endorsement by either This page was created to provide a place where these others can be collected. But why shouldnt we laugh? Again, you should not crowd him. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. We are there to sweep off our side of the street, realizing that nothing worth while can be accomplished until we do so, never trying to tell him what he should do. Search the world's most comprehensive index of full-text books. 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