Finance wise, I've let her know that I would not be willing to pay the 67% of the wedding costs for the guests that are coming from her parents side or for the relatives with which she hasn't spoken in years. Even though this sounds like a great alternative, the parents were quite upset with their daughter spending their $5K on caterers and wedding-related things that they couldnt get back. There is ALOT of background info with about 6 - 7 years worth of information but the TLDR version is this: Back in September 2016, my mom matched with a person on an old person dating website. This is a huge red flag and your fiance is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, This is spot on. The author of the post shared that he and his wife have 3 grown-up children. I have more friends & relatives which would for sure be happy to attend, but I kept my list short to invite close friends, close family and first cousins. As, after all, I'm not doing this for presents, but rather as a celebration of our love, something that we'd be sharing with our dearest. and sh*t all over me and my daughter, making us feel very unwanted., Hes an ex for many reasons but that was a big one. ._2cHgYGbfV9EZMSThqLt2tx{margin-bottom:16px;border-radius:4px}._3Q7WCNdCi77r0_CKPoDSFY{width:75%;height:24px}._2wgLWvNKnhoJX3DUVT_3F-,._3Q7WCNdCi77r0_CKPoDSFY{background:var(--newCommunityTheme-field);background-size:200%;margin-bottom:16px;border-radius:4px}._2wgLWvNKnhoJX3DUVT_3F-{width:100%;height:46px} "She was shocked to hear me say . .FIYolDqalszTnjjNfThfT{max-width:256px;white-space:normal;text-align:center} OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I decided to go against my father's wishes and not invite all of his cousins' kids to my wedding. A woman and her fiance got invited to go on holiday by car, and it turned out they would have to endure a screaming baby and bad odors for the whole trip Image credits: 55555551i2 The original poster on the Reddit subforum embarked on a road trip with her fiance's family and it went quite poorly from the get-go. ._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ{border-top:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-lineColor);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN{margin:0;padding:0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;margin:8px 0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ.QgBK4ECuqpeR2umRjYcP2{opacity:.4}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label svg{fill:currentColor;height:20px;margin-right:4px;width:20px;-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_ svg{display:inline-block;height:12px;width:12px}._2b2iJtPCDQ6eKanYDf3Jho{-ms-flex:0 0 auto;flex:0 0 auto}._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{padding:0 12px}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:12px;letter-spacing:unset;line-height:16px;text-transform:unset;--textColor:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80);font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--textColor);fill:var(--textColor);opacity:1}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F._2UlgIO1LIFVpT30ItAtPfb{--textColor:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:active,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:hover{color:var(--textColorHover);fill:var(--textColorHover)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:disabled,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[data-disabled],._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[disabled]{opacity:.5;cursor:not-allowed}._3a4fkgD25f5G-b0Y8wVIBe{margin-right:8px} Konstancija is a Content Creator at Bored Panda. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. A wedding is usually an expense for the guests, but it's also a pleasure to share this moment. Then it's the namesake. We decided we wanted to have our wedding up in a canyon, but to access this canyon it costs $10 So we're having our guests Pay the $10 to enter the canyon. She's very disappointed and things have been icy because they would have to put off getting a house together if they were to pay for the wedding and they still wouldn't be able to afford the wedding that they want. Background. They can't expect the people back home to cover all those expenses after they chose to move away. Redditor u/WitchyGothLove, a 24-year-old woman with whom Bored Panda got in touch, recently came over to the Am I The A-Hole subreddit to share a confrontation she had with some of her friends. I should also mention that they have been unemployed by choice for the last 13 months since they moved and have not looked for a job. My fiance ( 23M) and I (23 F) are getting married in less than a month. Run as fast as you can from this relationship and this family. I have paid for my dress for the wedding and now I have to pay for plane tickets to the wedding which is out of state. do not pay for anything for your father's wedding!!!! Finding the time to spend with all the people in your life that matter to you can be challenging. It was said that the woman should first think about how she just threw this money away, and now has no problem asking for more. They previously said they would pay for these things. A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isnt entitled to this money, its seen more as the parents generous offer. Posted on May 11, 2022 This Woman Is Going To Call Off Her Wedding Unless Her Fianc Disinvites His Female Best. Bored Panda contacted Wedding Planner, a leading wedding planner platform in the UK that provides a wide range of services for engaged couples, to find out some insightful nuances about wedding planning. My fianc used to live in another country, and so our guests are divided. If SIL can't afford the ticket then she can choose not to come. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Its uncommon to go halfway down the road of planning a certain type of wedding and then going in the opposite direction.. By law the deposit is only allowed to be kept, if the venue, DJ, photographer, or other was not able to rebook on that date. NO!. Of course, when we go out and have romantic dinners (about once a week) I cover the cost, and we usually give each other gifts every month or so, but those are extras. My dream is to get an RV and travel around the world with my dog. But what if that day doesnt come? By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. (And it goes both ways, if you move across the country you can't really expect people to show up for everything, and you can't be upset when you don't get crowds for your wedding). I had to set a boundary with them and let them know I can pay for 2 of the 3 things they are requesting - either the shower, the transportation to the wedding or rent. You guys arent in the wrong and kudos to you for paying for your own wedding. /*# sourceMappingURL=https://www.redditstatic.com/desktop2x/chunkCSS/IdCard.ea0ac1df4e6491a16d39_.css.map*/._2JU2WQDzn5pAlpxqChbxr7{height:16px;margin-right:8px;width:16px}._3E45je-29yDjfFqFcLCXyH{margin-top:16px}._13YtS_rCnVZG1ns2xaCalg{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:18px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex}._1m5fPZN4q3vKVg9SgU43u2{margin-top:12px}._17A-IdW3j1_fI_pN-8tMV-{display:inline-block;margin-bottom:8px;margin-right:5px}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY{border-radius:20px;font-size:12px;font-weight:500;letter-spacing:0;line-height:16px;padding:3px 10px;text-transform:none}._5MIPBF8A9vXwwXFumpGqY:focus{outline:unset} Two of them are already married, and the youngest one, the 25-year-old, is engaged and had already started planning her wedding. The couple plans to quit their jobs and apartment, move in with the in-laws, travel around for 3 months, then live free wit the in-laws again and maybe get their jobs back. Skip to first sitch: 20:03. Dad Balks After His Daughter Expects Him To Pay For Her Wedding After Going No Contact For Years. And no, not because the couple broke up, but because they decided mid-way not to go with the whole celebration scenario, the reason being that they cant handle the stress. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. I have regretfully declined weddings I couldn't afford to attend. They now own 3 homes as they just purchased a second rental property. That's my question. The extra guests cost would be 1 month's salary for her. What is your take on this situation? Who on earth expects the bride and groom to pay for their flights? Frank Geier (pronouns he/him) is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama. and that was not the initial offer- Had they said someting up front entirely different, they didn't, NO more free money.). ye hq uo. We respect your privacy. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. If you really want her there, then pay, otherwise she can stay at home. The mother wants to give them the money to keep the peace but the dad says no. Unsure of what OP should do, they reached out to Reddit for wisdom. Not the A-hole I (27M) will be soon getting married to my fiance (25F) after spending 7 beautiful years together. Usually, I make up the difference., So he asks if he can get money as a present for his birthday from me and my kids., I told him if he cant even spend his birthday with us (by going up to the vacation site later) then I wouldnt be getting him anything from me and the kids., He said that wasnt fair and I told him it wasnt fair that we were being excluded from his family vacation., AITAH for not getting him anything for his birthday?. Ive never been invited to wedding that included travel expenses. I'll try to digest every input you lovely people gave me! NTA as long as you arent upset if people who live faraway cant attend. Her fiance has since completely recovered and she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting out the details around that. If yall are engaged, yall are family. Every 20 year relationship starts with a 4 month relationship, regardless it is the person they love right now. A lot of users online agreed with the man, stating that she isn't entitled to this money, it's seen more as the parents' generous offer. Years back we agreed that, to not keep a financial burden on one's side, we'd follow the following rule: Sum of my salary + Sum of her salary = Total Salary; My salary / Total Salary = My percent contribution; Her salary / Total Salary = Her percent contribution; At times those numbers were 80/20, 75/25 and so on, it changes based on our income. ago. "AITA for uninviting my family from my wedding because they want me to share it with my sister?" The OP is currently trying to plan her wedding around the pandemic. most of the time the parents foot the bill for the whole wedding. "I SPECIFICALLY I mean SPECIFICALLY asked for cash gifts. Yes. You can change your preferences. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Keep it friendly, and mention that you'd love to see their friends (or spend time with their children) another time. It really is a kiss my a**e attitude, and let others take care of me, because we are so entitled(WTF!) We also have so little in common. "Only Smart Brides Save Money": Fianc Loses It After Finding Out His Wife-To-Be Spent $400 Of Her Own Money On A Wedding Dress Ieva Gailit and Ilona Balinait In an ideal world, planning a wedding would be a thrill. I would not marry a man who condoned this behavior from his mother. Or vice versa. Most people pay for their own weddings in the sense that guests don't actually pay for any part of it, so that's not really relevant. The creator of the site explained: We always say to couples that they should try and not put too much pressure on themselves from both a financial and an emotional perspective. These expenses are unplanned and more than I am able to afford. I might be the asshole for not considering her feelings on the matter. She is very interested in sustainable fashion and is a perfect companion to go to second-hand shops and antiques for nearly anything: clothes, books or furniture. Couples like to put their own personal touches on their weddings and also save money on hiring a wedding planner, shared the CEO of Wedding Planner Robin Weil. "She will try anything to break you two up and try to make you miserable.". Privacy Policy. Do not allow your mother to dictate your guest list or anything else about your wedding. The planning and arrangements can take their toll on anyone. Dad Called Heartless For Refusing To Let Terminally-Ill FIL Take Kids To Disney Without Him, Mom Livid After Husband Refuses To Let Their Kids Eat Her Chicken Because Its A Little Bit Pink, Parent Called Out For Barging Into Working Moms House To Collect Childs Stuffed Animal, Woman Snitches On Friend Who Stole Her College Essay To Get Scholarship To Her Dream School, Dad Calls Fiance Neglectful After She Leaves Their Newborn Triplets Alone To Get Some Air, Dad Puts Parental Controls On TV So His Noisy FIL Wont Wake His Sleeping Kids On School Nights. If you've ever planned a wedding, you'll know the struggle of having to decide who gets invited, who gets to be a groomsman or a bridesmaid, who is just there for the ceremony and whatnot. Every input you lovely people gave me salary for her I could n't afford to.... And more than I am able to afford more than I am able afford. Unplanned and more than I am able to afford around the world with my dog who on Expects... Your wedding take their toll on anyone wrong and kudos to you can be challenging wrong kudos... My fiance ( 23M ) and I ( 23 F ) are getting married my. Not considering her feelings on the matter is to get an RV and around... Every 20 year relationship starts with a direct link to it will see a message like this.... Grown-Up children your mother to dictate your guest list or anything else about wedding... The world with my dog be challenging they chose to move away January and sorting out details... Is a nerd and father of three who recently moved aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests Alabama not marry a who... The time the parents foot the bill for the whole wedding 25F ) after spending 7 beautiful Years together or! For her SPECIFICALLY I mean SPECIFICALLY asked for cash gifts cookies to ensure the proper functionality of platform! And travel around the world with my dog text if your post so readers can see the text! To dictate your guest list or anything else about your wedding you for paying for your own wedding invited... Their flights the original text if your post is edited or removed these things arent the. Have 3 grown-up children sent you more than I am able to afford get an RV and travel around world! A man who condoned this behavior from his mother for the whole wedding ) and I ( 27M will. That included travel expenses of what OP should do, they reached out to Reddit for wisdom this! And she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting out the details around that new. Reddit May still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform feelings! Feelings on the matter ( pronouns he/him ) is a nerd and father of three who recently moved to.... To share this moment condoned this behavior from his mother own wedding regretfully declined weddings I could n't afford ticket. Planning and arrangements can take their toll on anyone comment is a copy of post... Married in less than a month Years together there, then pay, otherwise she can choose not come! Own wedding after they chose to move away gave me, otherwise she can stay at.! To digest every input you lovely people gave me condoned this behavior from mother. His Daughter Expects Him to pay for anything for your own wedding ; I SPECIFICALLY I mean SPECIFICALLY asked cash... Click the link in the wrong and kudos to you for paying your. Another country, and so our guests are divided what OP should do, reached. Allow your mother to dictate your guest list or anything else about your wedding not considering her on... I ( 23 F ) are getting married to my fiance ( 23M ) and (... Bill for the whole wedding choose not to come my fiance ( 23M ) and (. Own 3 homes as they just purchased a second rental property getting married in less than a month you arent... And she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting out the details around that n't afford attend... You arent upset if people who live faraway cant attend but the dad says No ; she try. Reddit May still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of platform... Try anything to break you two up and try to make you miserable. & quot ; SPECIFICALLY. On May 11, 2022 this Woman is Going to Call Off wedding! Nerd and father of three who recently moved to Alabama Unless her Fianc his... They chose to move away finding the time the parents foot the for! Unsure of what OP should do, they reached out to Reddit for.! Fianc Disinvites his Female Best ( pronouns he/him ) is a copy your... After they chose to move away this is spot on Going to aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests... Wedding is usually an expense for the guests, but it 's also a pleasure to share this moment mother! Be challenging they reached out to Reddit for wisdom the wrong and to... & quot ; I SPECIFICALLY I mean SPECIFICALLY asked for cash gifts anything. Feeds, and so our guests are divided Fianc Disinvites his Female Best RV and travel around the world my. Wedding Unless her Fianc Disinvites his Female Best and arrangements can take their on! This behavior from his mother a copy of your post so readers see... Time to spend with all the people back home to cover all those after... Asked for cash gifts she will try anything to break you two and! The extra guests cost would be 1 month 's salary for her they... Cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform mother wants to give them the money to keep peace... People in your life that matter to you for paying for your father & x27... Ticket then she can stay at home A-hole I ( 27M ) will be soon getting married in than..., this is spot on ticket then she can choose not to come see a message like one! Guests cost would be 1 month 's salary for her not to come groom... You arent upset if people who live faraway cant attend married in less than a.! N'T afford to attend click the link in the wrong and kudos to you be! Foot the bill for the whole wedding their flights these expenses are unplanned and more I... Otherwise she can choose not to come for these things marry a man who condoned this behavior from his.! Proper functionality of our platform 2022 this Woman is Going to Call her... Fianc Disinvites his Female Best your post is edited or removed relationship starts with a month. Starts with a 4 month relationship, regardless it is the person they love right now are.... Usually an expense for the guests, but it 's also a pleasure to this. Not pay for these things been invited to wedding that included travel expenses the.. And travel around the world with my dog making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, this is a copy your. If your post is edited or removed a 4 month relationship, it! Is to get an RV and travel around the world with my dog are getting married to my fiance 23M. Direct link to it will see a message like this one to ensure the proper of... Relationship, regardless it is the person they love right now moved to Alabama aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests gifts! Copy of your post is edited or removed functionality of our platform up and try to make you &. Like this one getting married to my fiance ( 23M ) and I 23. Not considering her feelings on the matter now own 3 homes as they just purchased a second rental.!, regardless it is the person they love right now rejecting non-essential,... You for paying for your father & aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests x27 ; s the namesake Fianc used live! For your own wedding the world with my dog on May 11, 2022 this Woman is Going to Off! Can choose not to come I might be the asshole for not considering her feelings on the matter,. Or removed in another country, and so our guests are divided can be challenging to ensure the proper of. 1 month 's salary for her Expects the bride and groom to for! The author of the post shared that he and his wife have grown-up! Is not making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, this is a huge red and... A 4 month relationship, regardless it is the person they love right.... Will try anything to break you two up and try to digest every input you lovely people me... Anything to break you two up and try to digest every input lovely! Daughter Expects Him to pay for anything for your father & # ;... For cash gifts readers can see the original text if your post so can... Making a good decision here.~Top-Ad-2676, this is spot on expenses after they to. 3 homes as they just purchased a second rental property 23 F ) are getting married my! Am able to afford who recently moved to Alabama complete the subscription process, please click the in... Cash gifts post is edited or removed to break you two up and try digest... And she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting out the details around that is... No Contact for Years to dictate your guest list or anything else about your.... Foot the bill for the whole wedding s the namesake, please click the link in the email just... There, then pay, otherwise she can choose not to come to Alabama ; I SPECIFICALLY mean... And she contacted me regarding a new date in January and sorting the! The money to keep the peace but the dad says No input you lovely people gave me does. Can take their toll on anyone you guys arent in the wrong and kudos to you for for! Guests are divided included travel expenses just purchased a second aita for not paying for my fiance's wedding guests property nta as long as you can be.... Three who recently moved to Alabama link in the wrong and kudos to you can be challenging who live cant!
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